fuckartletsparty

Queen for a minute

2009-08-07T15:10:00.001-07:00

-- Post From My iPhone

Super D

2009-08-06T18:34:00.001-07:00

Faster than speeding tranny...and she smells better too! (it's been a long day, my wit has run out)

-- Post From My iPhone

Chicken or what?

2009-08-03T18:12:00.001-07:00

-- Post From My iPhone

Wah, wah, wah....

2009-08-03T16:25:00.001-07:00

Bounced checks make for awkward fights.
Awkward fights make for awkward art.

Gentlemen, start your engines...

2009-08-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

We have a new queen in town.

Cheeeeeese

2009-07-20T14:42:00.001-07:00

Our production coordinator's name is Heather. Our caterers are Asian.

'Nuff said

-- Post From My iPhone

Dolla dolla bills ya'll!

2009-07-17T17:52:00.001-07:00

Makin' it rain in the art office

Post From My iPhone

Which one of these doesn't belong?

2009-07-10T13:30:00.001-07:00

-- Post From My iPhone

Playtime!

2009-07-10T12:51:00.001-07:00

Prop houses are my new favorite thing. There are just sooo many fun things to do here!

You can play wartimez.

Take a nap.

Look, I'm sarah palin! (Cunt)

Kick it with MLK.

Play dress up. (this was josh's fave)

Have a snack. (assuming you like plastic)

And last, but not least, get drizzzunk!
Shit, I think I may need to delete iFizzle from my phone.....

Aaand we're back!

2009-07-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

After a looong hiatus our art dept is back! Sadly, we're down two teammates. Marot has left us for gamier pastures and JTizzle is prepping to draw up my first prenup. What? You can never be too careful....
Anywho, that being said, the rest of us are here; highheels and pantyhose in toe (tow?). Get excited!!!

PS - pardon the douchey message below, however this new app has in fact changed my life.

-- Post from my iPhone

Isn't everything?

2009-07-08T11:06:00.001-07:00

-- Post From My iPhone

Hipsters for Autism?

2009-05-12T12:50:00.001-07:00

nice haircut

wtf

2009-03-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

imeanseriously....

its a fucking possum wearing a tiny hat. i have no words...

how i spent my weekend

2009-03-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

hanging flags:

playing while other people hung flags:

i love my job! even though my face would read otherwise. i'm smiling on the inside. my hair looks great too! well. so said josh and kristytown. thanks guys :)

we're in a recession people!

2009-03-16T12:46:00.001-07:00

drink up.

dragtastic

2009-03-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

i got to spend yesterday with one of my favorite ladies on the planet. the one and only:

i think the drag queens have finally gotten to sterling and i:

don't let sterling try and tell you that's bebe's finger either...

i want these

2009-03-12T12:50:00.000-07:00

someone should buy them for me. please and thank you.

welcome home sterling

2009-03-03T18:23:00.001-08:00

dear sterling,
erin and i would like to let you know that we had a great time hanging out with you yesterday. even if you forgot we were coming over approximately 5 minutes after plans were made (see below) and then proceeded to fall asleep.
love,
rasty

you go girl!

2009-03-03T18:07:00.000-08:00

erin and i had a wonderful time today wandering the aisles of my local vons. but my favorite was the "go girl!" energy drink. i love that they're marketing a product with a phrase that rose to popularity in the mid 90's:

erin showing us how she would "go girl!"

click-it or ticket?

2009-02-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

how to take care of an expensive lamp that belongs to the man writing your paycheck

weird yo

2009-02-23T13:10:00.000-08:00

i discovered this on my last day of work:

i remember weird al, i mean, who doesn't? i guess i just never thought about him actually playing live shows. like who were the people that actually spent money to see him mock perfectly good songs? imeanreally...

MoHo

2009-02-12T16:50:00.000-08:00

its short for mortorhome, pervs. here's what we do in it:

photobooth!

ew. i don't wanna take a starbucks order.

hellz yeah! no one wanted any, whoo-hoo!

breakFAST

2009-02-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

or get none. below is an example of what happens when you get sent on a run during breakfast. you come back to a rock hard burrito. deelish!

oh, and i must mention that it was prepared by this woman:

in case you weren't aware, sometimes being a reality television star only gets you naked. then you end up as crafty on low budget commercials. true story.

honda vs. nissan

2009-02-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

who's spot is it now bitch?

<3

2009-02-06T10:31:00.000-08:00

now please go out and spend lots of money on the "special someone" that you treat like shit the rest of the year :)

phat

2009-02-03T14:38:00.000-08:00

actually FAT is more like it. so i got this awesome new job for the next couple of weeks. my office is directly across the street from the beach, the hours are cake, the pay is great, and they pay for all my meals. this is where i'm running into trouble. i can't seem to bring myself to eat healthy because i can order whatever i want. why would i order a salad when i can get the burrito? this is no good. see below:

the latest one pound addition to my ass.

happy birthday to me!

2009-01-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

so what if it was over a week ago? i can milk that shit for as long as i want. thursday is the perfect example. warrenpeace missed my party cuz his phone died or some bullshit. so i made him take me out on thursday and buy all my drinks. hey, if he'd shown up when he was supposed to it would have been a much cheaper experience. behold my beer pyramid:

below is the aftermath of sterling thinking he could one up me. cans scattered everywhere, broken glass and us about to get kicked out. what? clearly you don't hang out with us enough if you think this is weird.

PS - i'd be a liar if i let you think i drank all of those. i had help. lots of it.

tax dollars well spent

2009-01-23T12:33:00.001-08:00

i wonder if all the parking tickets i got last year went towards the extra "e"?

and another

2009-01-22T11:16:00.001-08:00

so turns out "back to back" meant almost 12 hours apart. hey, youtube takes awhile. in any case here is the latest movie review. enjoy!

it has been soooo long!

2009-01-22T01:39:00.001-08:00

but i'm back. hopefully more consistently at this point. kristy and i have started movie reviews again. like hardcore this time. so hardcore that i'm about to post two back to back. that's right. check out our review of Zapped! below and please email any movie review suggestions to moviereviewswithkk@gmail.com

oh, and thanks porter!

2008-11-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

i know you don't read this blog (boo!) but i'd still like to thank you for this awesome pic from the silver lake rally!

what do we want?!
EQUAL RIGHTS!
when do we want them?!
NOW!

stuffz

2008-11-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

our art dept is on a temporary hiatus, however, i don't see why that has to keep me from posting random crap. see below:

that's right. whiskey soaked sunflower seeds. these could seriously be the coolest things i've found at a convenient store since bubble gum cigarettes.

And another thing....

2008-11-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

how many times can one lose a room key on the road? let us count...

i'm gonna go with 8.

Everyone's leaving me...

2008-11-07T16:50:00.000-08:00

wah, wah, wah...
this blows. i have all next week alone. blob. well at least we finally got our wiener brews. yeah, they're actually called wiener brews and they were delicious.

houston nights

2008-11-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

thursday was my last night in houston and what better way to spend it than at a karaoke bar. marot luuuurrves her some karaoke. she killed it with some avril while josh and i took the boy band route, hellz yeah. this post is obviously a little late. we're all home with the exception of jtizzle who is likely on a plane headed west as i type. we'll all reunite this evening for drinks while we anxiously await the future of our united states. pics from that tomorrow.

PS - $5 to the first person to spot the tranny in the pic above.

marot's a winner!

2008-10-29T07:59:00.000-07:00

our dear little marot was quite shocked yesterday when upon check-in she was named "Guest of the Day". we're not really sure what that means or how she earned it, but its cool. oh, and don't think we didn't have to knock her off her pedestal a couple of times when she let it go to her head.

henry

2008-10-28T12:18:00.001-07:00

for no reason other than he's adorable.

cleaning house

2008-10-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

josh has taken me on many adventures over the past week.....landing our car in a ditch, hanging out in seedy diners, magical pools, and even urban nightclubs. but nothing will top last night when he introduced me to bertha, the wonderfully round woman who gave me my first colon hydrotherapy session. i figure this post could go one of two ways...i could address it in a very crude way, which i tend to do with most things, or i could leave it to your imagination. i've chosen the latter. all i will say is i feel lighter and cleaner. thank you josh. thank you bertha.

radiation

2008-10-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

after our fun, booze infested weekend in austin and knowing that we'll be home very soon, josh and i thought it would be a good idea to start working on getting in shape and looking awesome. with that we chose to do some yoga and face masks last night. we're even thinking about colonics before we return. happy monday!

i <3 austin

2008-10-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

this weekend we escaped houston and went to austin. it was fabuloussss! we got there late friday night, but josh and i still managed to make it to 4 bars before last call then went back to our hotel and swam in our heated pool til 4am. yesterday josh insisted on going to the zoo. so we did. it wasn't all that easy to find, in fact for a second i thought it may not exist anymore until we finally saw this sign:

i could tell this was a big budget place. we rode the train first thing.

josh really loved it.

we saw aliens.

were stocked by peacocks.

and made a new friend. i named him henry.
he was much sweeter than the picture would have you believe. he just didn't like having his picture taken.
after the zoo we hit the town. i put on my best hipster outfit and we took downtown austin by storm! we drank, we bar hopped and we danced our asses off. well, until our dance moves got us laughed at. we're white. deal with it. whatever. i still heart austin!

ditch it!

2008-10-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

so last night it rained. HARD. but by later in the evening it turned to a steady drizzle instead of downpour. josh convinced us to go explore a bit of the houston night life. whoo-hoo! it seemed like fun. we head out. we take a bit of a wrong turn, but find our way. we see it. its THE spot. josh takes the right onto what appears to be road and BAM! jtizzle says from the backseat, as calm as ever, "uh, that's a ditch..its..." its too late. we're IN the ditch full of water. the car is tilted quite a bit to the passenger side, my side. good thing i'm not fat. the boys start to crawl out and only in that second do i get a little nervous. "what if their weight leaving the car causes it to teeter..." i crawled out the driver's side quickly, looked at the car and started laughing. cuz imeanreally....our car was straight up stuck in a ditch. here it is:

i realize now that these pictures are a bit dark and don't really do the situation justice. but to wrap things up we got stuck at the creepiest gay bar i've ever been in. i mean, i felt uncomfortable, which is never a good sign. we waited for a tow truck that never showed up. ditched the creepy gay bar for a creepy diner where these hideous photos took place:

who needs a scanner? not us i'll tell you!
OH....and the best part? we went back with a tow truck the next morning to get the car and guess what? gone. that's right. someone stole our car out of a ditch. just when i was starting to actually dig houston....blob.

helloooo houston!

2008-10-21T22:39:00.000-07:00

so we're here. i got my pimp wagon today (i'll post pictures at a later date), we went to dinner, which mainly consisted of giant margaritas, walked through a mall that was closed, and ended up at a place called bronx bar. as soon as we walk in they're blasting salt 'n peppa's "push it". genius. from there it went to "back that ass up" and "i like big butts". AMAAAAAZING!!! i taught the boys how to play Big Buck Hunter Pro, which neither of them were very good at....

well, i take that back, jtizzle got it at the end.

joshy however, not so much.

but he did look really hot holding that gun.
on the walk back though we learned two things:
1) you can't by beer in a store after midnight. boo! but lesson learned. tomorrow we stock up.
2) texans make the best shirts EVER:

hallz of famezzzzz

2008-10-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

so yesterday we went to the pro football hall of fame! yes, we're dorks. shut up. upon arrival we noticed lots of miniature humans in weird outfits. my first thought was "isn't halloween still coming up?" turns out we had arrived on family day. great. lots of little hannah montana's to get underfoot.

the hall of fame was cool. i mean....yeah. whatevs. but what was better was the petting zoo outside!

d tried to feed the lamas, but they weren't having it.

oh, then there was a dead donkey. which in my opinion could have been quite traumatizing to the munchkins that were there, but no one seemed to notice.

whatevs. we decided against the amish wagon ride, but instead i thought i'd climb the wall. mainly because there was a sign that said i wasn't supposed to.

so today we went to the rock 'n roll hall of fame. whoo-hoo! it was grand! we weren't allowed to take pictures inside, so here's us hungover on our way in:

Dallas... enough said.

2008-10-19T02:17:00.000-07:00

shopping!

2008-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

so we had to shop today. A LOT. mainly online in our stuffy hotel room, but we got out for a little while tonight and it was grand! we went to home depot to take pictures of a chandelier (we're not going to show it to you) that we're trying to convince jeffrey to buy. we then ended up at wal-mart. not just any wal-mart. the wal-mart to end all wal-marts. big d still needs a halloween costume so we sidetracked from work for a moment to take a look.
pimp?

nah....
monster pimp?

i think we might be on to something...
but what about a cowboy?

no! monster pimp it is!

on the way home we saw the most amaaaazing place ever:

mr chicken! mr chicken! we couldn't decide what we loved more, mr. chicken or the '77 corvette pulling out of the driveway.

tomorrow its off to the pro football hall of fame! whoo-hoo! shut up. more about that later.

photobooth whiskey

2008-10-15T21:49:00.001-07:00

so being in a hotel room in cleveland, ohio tends to lend itself to excessive drinking. what.

galaga and glynis

2008-10-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

so tonight we did laundry! well, i did laundry. WE played galaga. we also broke galaga and tried to get a picture, but it didn't really work out. here instead are photos pre-galaga meltdown:

after laundry, galaga, and the debate we got into some glynis. glynis is the shit! big d was not impressed, but glynis owns my heart. i think d's just jealous that she's not a 3.

coffee and wieners

2008-10-15T15:47:00.000-07:00

so yesterday we took little devil through the streets of cleveland looking for sinks. we realized we needed coffee. BADLY. as we're driving big d mentions how awesome it would be to have a hot dog and a coffee and BLAM! there it was. the convenient store from heaven. a place where we were able to get not just any hot dog and coffee, but a polish boy. a masterpiece made of polish sausage, seasoned fries and bbq sauce. oh, and by "we" i mean big d, i don't eat that shit. and by "shit" i mean the polish boy that big d now loving refers to as the "sloppy asshole". behold its glory:

pasta! pasta!

2008-10-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

so after our adventure at bahama breeze last night we decided to cook the pasta that was given to us upon check in here at the lovely residence inn. that required a trip to the store for cheese and beer. ya know? the essentials. giant eagle really takes their cheeses seriously, just look at this decadent brie display:

we didn't buy it. we chose to keep it simple and just stick with bel gioso parmesan cheese. deeelish! oh, and the beer of course. lots of it. maybe too much really....but whatevs. we couldn't find whiskey. the contents of my frig make me feel like i haven't left home:

hey, we wanted variety. don't judge. finally, behold our lovely dinner:
yes, that's the game on in the background. shut up.

goodnight cleveland

2008-10-13T23:55:00.001-07:00

'nuff said.

little devil

2008-10-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

so we've arrived in cleveland. hurray!!! we picked up this sweet ride. her name is little devil.

our first stop? bahama breeze because surely cleveland knows EVERYTHING there is to know about the bahamas and their breezes...

we ordered some girly drinks cuz, well, why not?

turns out that first of all they weren't as pretty in person as in the picture, although nicole m. swore had she known we were taking pictures she would have put more effort into them. whatevs. mine was great! big d's not so much....

thank you bahama breeze.

3 things i've learned over the past 4 days...

2008-10-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

1) buying beer in boston sucks!!! they only sell in "liquor stores" unless you go to a bar that charges you three times as much as you should pay...oh, and those liquor stores are only open til 10pm.
2) they don't believe in ass cleanliness. and by that i mean that no public restroom in the city has toilet seat covers. gross. no one has been able to give me a rational explanation to this at all. not cool.
3) big d sucks at blogging. but that's okay. we won't hold it against her.
that's all. hope everyone is having a great, great time without me!

Yeehaw

2008-10-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Hey, we're Richardson, TX locals!

and we hang out at the hotel bar.

Fuck yeah we do, it's like a Denny's with a liquor license.

Theres nothing but hotels around here, but we still showed up. Duh, we're trying to score some sweet hurricane evacuated ass? Jager shots.

takin' it on the road...

2008-10-06T18:42:00.000-07:00

so our art dept is hittin' the road. first stop: san marcos, ca!!! whooo! can't wait! oh wait. i'm not going. :( big d will be taking over blogging duties for the week. don't worry, i'll be checking up on her to make sure shits goin' down. for now i'll leave with a list of our 4 city tour:

san marcos, ca

dallas, tx

cleveland, oh

houston, tx

oh, and what we still can't get enough of in the office...